Social anxiety – what it is and how to overcome it

Have you ever experienced the flutter of butterflies in your stomach when approaching a conversation with someone? Have you found yourself debating whether to attend a party where everyone is unfamiliar? Have you ever felt profound regret over something you said, causing sleepless nights?

These are all telltale signs of social anxiety, a common yet often overlooked condition that quietly exerts control over our lives.

Left unaddressed, social anxiety can lead to significant comorbidities such as depression, substance abuse, and eating disorders. However, the good news is that social anxiety is highly treatable.

Social anxiety itself is not inherently negative; it serves as an essential function in creating effective societies where individuals care for one another and understand their place in the larger community. However, when social anxiety becomes impaired—whether excessive or lacking—it hinders our ability to tap into the resources that society offers.

This struggle often underlies the development of comorbidities: we feel down and spiral into depression when we can’t advance in our careers despite our potential and skills, we turn to drinking or comfort eating to soothe our anxiety, and the accumulated sleep debt harms our overall health.

By addressing the root cause, which can sometimes be social anxiety, we can reverse these negative patterns.

Social anxiety is influenced by various cognitive functions, which, when impaired, intensify social anxiety or drive it to suboptimal levels. Four major drivers include the rumination function, avoidance behaviour, accurate perception of others’ opinions, and attentional focus during social interactions.

Here at Alena this is our area of expertise, and the Alena app can help measure the health of these cognitive functions and provide scores, followed by cognitive behavioural therapies that target these specific areas. While there is no instant remedy for social anxiety, there are steps you can take.

The first step towards overcoming social anxiety is to recognise that it is a common and normal experience. Many people struggle with social anxiety, but it often remains misunderstood.

By acknowledging it, you are already on the path to overcoming it. Understand that your anxious feelings are more a product of how your brain processes information rather than an accurate reflection of how others perceive you.

When anxiety strikes, there is a tendency to want to escape, hide, or distract ourselves from the discomfort. Instead, allow yourself to experience those feelings and focus on calming your body through slow breathing techniques commonly used in meditation.

By slowing down, you can help your body break free from the fight-or-flight response. Shift your attention away from your inner thoughts and redirect it towards the external world. This can be done by immersing yourself in the sounds around you or paying close attention to the visual details in your surroundings.

You will notice a sense of relief as your attention releases from the internal spiral, leading to a lighter and less tense state.

Next, try to imagine yourself in the shoes of someone you love who is going through a similar situation. Consider how you would talk to them and evaluate the seriousness of the situation if it involved them.

By adopting an external perspective, you distance yourself from your own anxious thoughts and gain a more objective view of reality. This helps to ground you in the present moment.

Lastly, the most effective way to overcome social anxiety is through exposure to small social events and gradually increasing your comfort zone.

Often, you will realise that nothing catastrophic happens, challenging the belief that social situations are as major and terrifying as they may seem. By incrementally expanding your social experiences, you will build confidence and realize that you can handle them.

Remember, you are not alone, and overcoming social anxiety takes time and effort. With the right support, strategies, and a gradual approach, you can regain control of your life and thrive in social situations. 

 

Mandana Ahmadi is the founder and CEO of Alena. Mandana is dedicated to tackling the world’s mental health crisis, starting first with social anxiety. She has worked with the International Brain Laboratory, and achieved her PhD in computational neuroscience from UCL Gatsby.